Back Up Negro: She's Just Not That Into You

Situation

A reader reached out to KG asking for helping on how to detect signs that his interest might not be interested in him. So in true Friends Don't Let Friends fashion, we must save our friend from himself. So here we go...

He Says:

1.  She does not initiate physical or eye contact.

Fellas, if a woman does not look you in your eye when she is talking to you, or she looks at you like you have a malignant mole if you come within 6 ft of touching her---she might not be that into you. Most women like to be touched when you make a joke, or even just given a hug. If the most you get from a woman is a handshake with her head turned away---it might be time for you to pursue other options because she is not the one!

2. She never accepts your invitation to go out.

I dealt with a woman once who would talk to me all the time over text, email, and sometimes the phone, but every time I asked her out, she would come up with a reason to decline. Examples I would get hit with were: prior dinner plans, picking up a girlfriend, or even going to Target for a toothbrush. After a while, I finally figured out that she just wasn’t into me. I was always told that a woman should accept at least one dinner because she may never know what pleasant surprises that dinner could hold. Well dammit I never got that dinner, and I sho nuff finally got the hint.

3.  She has never introduced you to her friends.

If interested in you, a woman will always want you to have the approval of her closest friends. If you have never met Pookie, Re-Re and Kim, you might not be that important to her. If she was into you, you would have been invited to at least show your face to her circle. But since you aren’t, understand that the man that is actually important to her is receiving all of this treatment.

4. She has a boyfriend!

Now this may seem obvious to most people, who think that a guy would back off when hearing this. Oh contraire! There are many men who don’t take the hint, or don’t respect this information. Many dudes think that they have the chance with a young lady who has just claimed to be taken. Fellas let me break it down to you---if a woman tells you right off the bat that she has a boyfriend, it is indeed likely that she doesn’t, but is telling you this because she doesn’t want you. Sorry to break it to you but this is not a sign to come harder---it’s a sign to go try your game on the next available woman.

She Says:

5.  She doesn’t laugh at any of your jokes.

You may not be Eddie Murphy, but you damn sure ain’t D.L Hughley (I don’t think he is funny, sue me) and if the girl of your interest never laughs at your jokes, then you have a major problem! Laughing is a form of flirting for most girls. While we are laughing at your jokes, we have the opportunity to lean into you, show some cleavage, and touch you on your arm or thigh. If ya girl is not laughing at your jokes, then she has no desire to flirt with you.  Womp!

6. Your Facebook Friend request to her is still pending.

You have 10 mutual friends in common with your potential boo. Therefore you can see her commenting on your friends’ pictures and statuses, yet you are still not Facebook friends with her. If she has yet to accept your request, it probably means that she doesn’t want to get to know you at all; especially if she is turning down an open invitation to Facebook stalk you. lol

7. She doesn’t allow you to do favors.

Fellas, you call yourself being nice by bringing ya boo her favorite Starbucks latte. This is a sweet gesture right?! Yes it is! However if the gift is quickly returned to you, that’s a bad sign homie! She doesn’t want to owe you anything. Most women love when men do things for them. When a girl is digging a guy, she can take that small sweet gesture and use it as currency to rent a condo in Fairytale land where she’ll spend her time planning the first 6 months of your relationship. If she really likes you, she will be on the phone with a girlfriend like, “Girl he put two pumps of soy milk in my latte. OMG he totally loves me.”

8. You don’t match her description of her perfect man.

If you ask her what her perfect man is and she responds “tall” but you are short; or if she says “bald” and you have locs, you should take this as a subtle hint that she is just not that into you. It’s a blatantly rude way of saying “my perfect man is everything you are not”. It is harsh and superficial yes, but it is also most likely true!!