The Rules of the Follow-Up

The stars were perfectly aligned and the moon was in Aquarius because last Friday night when you went out with your girls you met a great guy. You exchanged numbers and the next day he called. You talked for a hour and then he said, "Let's get together." Now you wait for it and wait for it and wait for it and you realize that four days have now passed and ol' dude is nowhere to be found. Or my personal favorite: you are in the midst of a convo via text with consistent replies, and then the world must fall off its axis because 30 minutes have now passed and no response.

She Says:
Ladies we have all been here!! I think nothing grinds my gears more than inconsistency and lackluster follow through. I mean, what happened? Did ol' dude have to catch an immediate flight to Zimbabwe and there is no cell service in his new location? Or is he the new Ben Carson and had to rush to the hospital to perform emergency Siamese twin surgery? What gives? I admit I have girl moments where I get angered by this behavior and immediately say, "Well next time he text or calls I am going to ignore it." o_O Next thing you know I am back in a text convo or on the phone laughing like Chris Rock is on the other end! Guys, this behavior is rude; though it's not the worst thing in the world, it is indeed inconsiderate. It makes us go crazy and makes you the jerk!

He Says:
Ladies you all have been there. And I must say you are all emotionally insane. I was always told that patience is a virtue. Most men have their own timeline and patience "exams." Most men wait between 3-5 days before reaching out to you. Why is this you might ask?  Because you are not his priority yet.  He has no reason to rush and call or text you.  The day he makes an effort to communicate, he knows that you will be giddy based on the feedback you gave him when you met.  This also goes for a text conversation.  Men have no reason not to text you.  But they know, based off experience, that you are sitting there waiting for them to write back.

Ladies, please learn not to fall into the trap.  If you exchange numbers with a gentleman and he writes or calls you a week later; don't rush to answer the phone or text him back.  Learn to make him wait the same way he does you.  All interactions between women and men are about testing each other to see what you can get away with.  Ladies, don't fail the test due to your emotional insanity and lack of patience.


Nikki said...

Guys kill me with this!!!! Great post!!!!

A said...

@Nikki -- it is extremely frustrating especially when you want to get to know someone or you are starting to like that person

Anonymous said...

Loves it!!! LOL

shugavery said...

Well, I must say, I broke all the rules of the follow-up. Back in January of 2007 I decided it was time for me to date after being separated from my husband for 3 years. My sister & cousins took me to a club in Columbia to help me celebrate my 39th birthday. I noticed a guy was watching me. He motioned for me to come over to talk to him...I obliged. We talked & he gave me his business card with his cell & home number written on the back of the card. I struggled with whether to call or not to call at first. I finally gave him a call a month & a week later. He told me he had no hopes of me calling him after a week had gone by. Five days after I called him we went on our first date together. We have been dating ever since then.

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