Cheating?! There's An App for That!!

Situation:

As Cuffin Season approaches, many men and women are starting to receive the subtle signs of sexual interests from jawns around the world. For many of us in a relationship, this is the time when cheating becomes rampant! But what actually constitutes cheating in this new age of texting, Twitter, and Facebook? FDLF is here to dissect.



What are you doing over there?



He Says:

In this new age of folk being overly sensitive, it is definitely time for us to reevaluate what constitutes cheating versus innocent friendliness.  Being in a relationship, I have a good perspective on what I would consider cheating and what should be brushed under the rug.  A lot of times people get all up in arms over simple, harmless communication.  Since I am a man with a ridiculous amount of female friends, sticky situations where technology disrupts the peace definitely occur.   So to that end, let me put the guidelines down on paper for all of you who can’t tell the difference between cheating and not cheating in the age of Twitter and Facebook. 

1. If I get a DM, email, picture, or text from someone, and I didn’t ask for it---that is not cheating!  This should be a pretty simple inclination, but a lot of people fail to realize this.  If a sexy, big breasted woman decides that she randomly wants to show me the size of her areola---that doesn’t mean I am cheating on you.  And just like I can’t control a woman sending the visual of her jugs, I also can’t control  a woman sending me a text telling me she loves me, wants to marry me, or wants to bear my children.  Some women are very vocal and opinionated about what they want.  I would never ask a woman to tell me all those things because that would just be incriminating and well, stupid.  Bottom line: if you didn’t ask for the information, it isn’t cheating. 

2.  Just because I may be calling, g-chatting or texting the same person on a regular basis---it doesn’t mean I’m cheating.  If this was the case, the whole world would think A was my other woman.  Women shouldn’t assume their partner is cheating based solely on volume of communication.  And you all might disagree---but I am just keeping it real from my perspective.  Just because I’m talking to someone throughout most of my work day doesn’t mean I'm smashing them at the Motel 6 when I leave out. Quite simply, it means I want something to do at work other than just work. Besides human communication is good for the soul!  Leave it at that and you shouldn’t have any problems. 

3.  “That was just some head---and head don't count right??”  My man Andre 3000 asked a very important question a few years back.  Does head constitute cheating??  Realistically, most people have no emotions when it comes to getting head from a jawn.  It’s kind of like masturbating---but it just happens that someone else is doing the work for you.  Honestly though---if you aren’t getting the nuts from the one you love, there may be a deeper conversation you need to have; because if you’re moanin’ from another ninja’s head game, then yes you are cheating. 

I want to be clear---a lot of these issues can be solved with simple communication.  It comes down to the principle of being honest with your partner.  Don't go behind your partner’s back and “investigate” things, then get mad if you find something that you have no understanding of; ultimately you put yourself and them in an awkward position.  And don't get all upset just because your boo is chatting it up with another jawn.  Feel free to communicate with people from the opposite sex, because at the end of the day that will only help your sanity.  And as long as he or she isn’t smashing and dashing, then you have no reason not to keep it peaceful.

K

She Says:       

I’m not completely sure what to say on the topic of digital cheating, since I am not in a relationship. I do not have to deal with this issue-- unless I am the other woman which, to my knowledge, I have never been (thank God!). Hopefully I can keep my track record clean in that particular area.

With that said, and given past blog topics, you guys know that I firmly believe that any information about someone that is on the internet is fair game for exploration for dating purposes. My motto is “any information about you found on the internet can and shall be used against you”. This especially applies to information found on social media sites—particularly incriminating information and proof of infidelity.

So often now-a-days you hear people say, “Facebook ruins lives”. But let’s be honest: Facebook didn’t ruin your life, it’s just that got you caught all the way up via Facebook. And Facebook isn’t the only destination for digital cheating, so all the blame can’t be placed on that one site – there is also Twitter, Gchat, text, Skype, and even MySpace. Yes, MySpace! It’s practically dead on that site but a male friend told me that’s why it’s great to hook up with people there; because no one thinks it is still in use. That made me chuckle.

But I digress. In my opinion, digital cheating is no different than cheating in person; it’s all about the person’s intent. In fact, it would seem that digital cheating has become the modern day gateway to “live” cheating; a” test the waters” situation, if you will. “Let me see if so and so really digs me at all and we can see where it goes from there”. I don’t care if you smashed another chick, sent a heaux an unrequested d*ck pic, or spent every night on Skype with your jumpoff after I had gone to bed--cheating is cheating. Just because the affair happened via a technological device doesn’t mean the trust of the relationship wasn’t damaged or that the shit hurt any less.

What are your thoughts? If your partner cheated on you via Facebook would you leave or would you stay? Have you cheated using technology? Talk to me!

A