...And Just Like That, Your Stock Plummets!!!


Situation:
We have all had it…that awkward moment when you see your ex, former boo, or fav smanger’s new chick! Does the tragedy of the new chick affect your dating stock at all? Let’s try and figure it out…

Financial Market or the Dating Scene?!?!

She Says:
On August 6, 2011, Standard & Poor’s downgraded the US credit rating from AAA to AA+.  Some say it had something to do with the debt ceiling issue but really, I think it is something more. America went from having the dumb white guy in charge to having the black guy in charge – and we all know what a black guy does to your credit rating! I kid, I kid…but not really. It got me thinking about stock ratings in the dating scene, and what factors can cause your dating stock to take a hit. Let me explain.
Recently, I encountered a situation where someone I was messing with was seen with a new young woman who was just unfortunate looking; like some sort of hoodrat beast, actually. The news arrived from a friend via telephone and as we spoke, I could hear the judgment laced throughout her voice. So, I grabbed my trusty Facebook investigation kit and got to work. I found the picture and all the blood rushed from my face, then I laughed nervously. This really was the final straw – NO MORE ASSOCIATION WITH THIS PERSON!!!
It was at that very moment that I knew that my dating stock had taken a hit. My stock is so low right now, that I might have to take Andre (loyal FDLF reader/commenter) up on his dating offers!  LOL! YES, shit just got real! Since ‘ol dude has downgraded the quality of the selection of his female associates, and chosen to be seen out in public with this new physically handicapped heaux – my own stock has taken a direct hit. “How so”, you ask? Because I was the last known associate of said dude and am now in the same category as this tragic heaux. It is quite the unfair turn of events!
Does this new chick affect how I feel about myself? HELL NO! She simply affects the public perception of me since we are both members of ‘ol dude’s smashing club. We all know that I am better than her though, right? LOL!
Anyhoo—Andre, help me rebound my stock, won’t you?
A


He Says
Most of you Negroes will try and act like it doesn’t affect you when someone from your past starts dating another person.  Even more of y’all will claim that it doesn’t affect you when your old boo dates a busted, broke down jawn.  I am here to tell each person that makes these claims---you are all liars!
I will explain: any time an ex begins to date someone, and you are still on the market, it starts to make you wonder why the hell you are still single.  You feel even worse when a former jawn gets wife’d or engaged to a busted, rundown bum that is 10 times worse than you.  
I knew a young man once who was damn in love with a young woman for a few years.  The guy definitely made the mistake of failing to make it official, but he still gave the woman everything she needed.  To make a long story short, this woman ended up leaving him, and within 6 months was engaged to her ex.  The same ex that had cheated on her multiple times and broken her heart.  My boy was really trying to save this heaux!  He had spent years resuscitating her emotions for that jawn to leave him for the person that had taken everything away from her. 
At this point the young man felt as if his stock had dropped—as would any other man who found himself in a similar situation.  They might end up covering it up by smutting around town, but the root of the problem comes from them feeling less worthy than they did prior to this experience.  Most people think this is a female trait, but ninjas also feel as if their stock drops when an ex messing is with someone they deem unworthy;  because in every man’s eye, he is the greatest thing to ever happen to any woman he has dealt with.
My advice to all my ninjas out there is to be sure to remember that there are too many women out here for you to get stuck in feeling as if your stock has dropped.  Go on Facebook, laugh at the pictures of the new bum ninja, then go out to happy hour and find you a single lawyer or teacher.  Trust me there are enough women out there ready and willing to help bring your stock back up.
K

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Andre -- help our girl A out! Then I want a blog post on the 1st date! Andre can do the 'he says' part

Tee Tee

Anonymous said...

LOL @ "...and we all know what a black guy does to your credit rating!"

LMAO, A you a fool! That is some funny ish, but you aint never lied! A black man ruined my credit score! NEVER AGAIN!!

E

Anonymous said...

hmm interesting question! Besides the actions of your ex whatever, what else makes your dating stock drop...

I'd say...
cheating
beating
skeeting in someone else
children
baller broke -- poppin bottles in the club but live with you moms n them
lying
being ugly

Anything else FDLF fam???

AJ

Anonymous said...

*taps foot waiting for Andre's response*

Carrie said...

Where is Andre? I mean he usually comments by now?

Ashley said...

You know it's cuffin season! He might be a bit tied up!

Anonymous said...

A -- what did I just read? Really?!

Boo, please believe that I would not only raise your stock, I'd beat that...ohhh ohh yea! Come to me baby!

However, in all seriousness I would totally take you out on a date, but I live in North Carolina and your in Maryland. Please believe you would be my boo, through and through! You are beautiful!

Now back to the jokes...Where that dumb heaux who was cheating on he boo of 10 years...yea her stock is junk bonds now!! BOOM!!!

Andre

Anonymous said...

@Andre what does living in NC gotta do with anything. Take a road trip!!! Oh and you ain't never lie about the girl cheating on her bf with dude on FB. LOL

Carrie said...

@Andre -- ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP!!!

A said...

@Andre! -- Thanks blog boo! LOL

K said...

But naw my goal is to get Andre up here and on a date with A...

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