Times Running Out Before You Say "I Do"

Situation: One of our favorite blogs, Until I Get Married, had an interesting topic a few weeks ago – The Altar List. I am sure many of you are familiar with a bucket list; an altar list is essentially the same, except it lists all of things you want to do before you take the trip down the aisle. In reality though, something does die when you get married so they could really be interchangeable, lol.

She Says:
Hmmmmmm….I don’t even have a bucket list—at least not a formal one--so I certainly have not been thinking about a damn altar list. I am still not convinced that I am going to get married, or that I want to get married--but that is a post for another day. I will try to keep this list as PG-13 as possible; I don’t want you all to think different of me because “I’m a lady!” *in my best Shenehneh voice* Well, here it goes…

1. Have a true “What happens in Vegas” kind of weekend
2. Have a love affair with a hot Italian man while living in Florence, Italy for six months
3. Get my nose pierced
4. Have a one night stand
5. Have a fab luxury vacay with my girls somewhere amazing
6. Road trip across the country
7. Have a bad relationship (sounds crazy, I know)
8. Turn 30
9. Continue to sleep like a wild woman across my whole bed

I realized as I wrote this post that it was kind of difficult for me to decide what I needed to do BEFORE I get married; it’s one of those things where you don’t know what you want to do with your freedom until it is in danger of being taken away. I’m sure I’ll need to re-evaluate if I ever actually get close to wanting to walk down the aisle.


He Says:
Due to another obligation, I felt that it would be difficult for me to write on this topic as thoroughly and honestly as I would like.  But because I am so committed to you all, I reached out to some of my most intelligent male friends and fraternity brothers to solicit their honest opinions on this topic.  Approximately 35 men of varying ages gave me their perspectives today about ‘the altar list’.  These are the most recurring responses, and are not a reflection of my personal feelings in any way. LOL.
1. Have a threesome and/or "appear as the only dude in a Brazilian bubble butt movie" - This makes complete sense to any man that has ever seen one of these classic flicks. LOL.  
2. Date and/or smash a woman of another race - At first I was polling all Negroes so I thought they were all just trying to get their reparations.  That’s when I decided to ask a few Asian and Caucasian men about some of the things they wanted to do before marriage. Four out of five of them said they wanted to sleep with a Black woman.  This is not shocking because they are beautiful, but I didn’t expect it to be something that non-Black men ranked at the top of their altar list.
3. Go to Vegas/Amsterdam/Jersey  Shore with the homies one last time -  I don’t believe the destination matters, but a man wants to have one last version of “The Hangover” before getting shackled…err, married.  While legally single, you have the freedom to do whatever you want.  When you purchase that ring, however, the routine suddenly goes from acting nutty as hell on the weekends to taking out the trash and watching Real Housewives of Atlanta ( I feel bad for my Pops, lol).
4. "Here’s a thought: don’t do it.” This may have been the most honest thing I heard all day.  The funny thing is that I didn’t even prompt this response: a couple of cats—both young and old--willingly threw this out there up front.  Was I shocked? Hell No!
In the end, Ladies and Gents need to make sure that they have accomplished everything they wanted to accomplish while single before a union is created.  The best quote I heard all day came from a man they call “Brother to the Night”.  He said, “Don’t get me wrong--you are always going to see something walking down the street and think: ‘Damn, I wouldn’t mind exploring that!’ You just have to be truly honest with yourself at the end of the day. Can you see yourself being truly in love with this woman for the next 40 or 50 years? If yes, then I say go for it--but if you haven’t gotten to that point I say do what you got to do and keep on EXPLORING before you enter into that next step. Some people need to stop falling in love with the idea of being married, and actually fall in love with the person they are going to marry.”
Nuff said.


Carrie said...

A -- I am with you on #4 and 5. #10 is hilarious! I need you to explain #7

Kim Jackson said...

A-I'm curious: why couldn't you get your nose pierced AFTER marriage?! Just wondering...

A said...

@Carrie -- My thoughts are being a really bad relationship would help me appreciate a really great one.

@Kimmie -- I mean I would have to ask his opinion on the matter and take it into consideration. I rather do it before, and be like "you didn't mind it before we got married" Get mu point lol

Zach said...


A-Meet me at Eden's tonight to accomplish #4. lol

Dash said...

A- You can do 3,5,6,9, after marriage though lol Lord knows I will def continue to sleep like a wild woman across my whole bed til kingdom come, marriage or not. LOL

A said...

@Zach -- Oh My!!!!!!!!

@Dash -- I mean I could, but I like not having to worry about someone else. Like right now I can just pick up and go! I mean they way I sleep, I dont think my hubby would want that to continue!!!

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