It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Situation:
Attention men! What could possibly be touted as the most wonderful day of the year is coming; mark your calendars for MARCH 14th! You may be wondering, “What is the importance of this day?” Why, it is national STEAK AND BJ DAY!



She Says:
Ohhhh Ladies, get ready! Now is the time for you to put in work as a “thank you” for all the money and energy previously spent by your man. No worries--the fellas have made it easy for you. There is no guessing at what they want; it is explicitly stated in the name of the day. So, please do not try to re-interpret the meaning of the day, or turn it into something else. Simply give your man, boo, or whoever a damn steak dinner and a BJ.

I will help my girls out just a little bit, and provide some suggestions. For my ladies who do not cook, take your man out to a nice steakhouse like Capital Grille or even to Outback Steakhouse. Yes, you read that correctly: Outback Steakhouse. The price of gas is laughable right now, and it may be affecting your discretionary income. Trust me I understand, and being broke is never cute! Lol. For those ladies who want to go the extra mile and cook a nice steak dinner at home, I would recommend the following recipes. You can utilize Google to find more:
http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/the-best-steak-marinade/Detail.aspx
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/sirloin-steak-recipe/index.html

For the BJ portion of the day, well…. if you have been following our blog since its inception, you have read the post where I shared my thoughts on this topic. If not, you can read it here. Regardless, I will leave you with one parting thought, Ladies: Remember to reach deep down into your soul and channel your inner Superhead. Now get the hell to work!

Fellas, please enjoy!

A

He Says:

Well Ladies and Gents; it has finally arrived. It’s time to celebrate the wonderful day known as Steak and BJ day.  Some have been celebrating this illustrious holiday for years; while some, like myself, are new to the festivities (despite wishing they had known about this many years ago).  In my Steak and BJ Day research, I discovered that in some circles, this day is more important than V-Day, Jesus’ Birthday, and even the day Biggie died! So in keeping with said importance, I wanted to give some tips and tricks to the young ladies out here to make sure that they make it enjoyable for the man (or men--do you, Playa: get your protein) of their choosing.
1. Men enjoy steak!  This is a commonly known fact; but, perhaps not so commonly known, is that they are very particular about the way that they want their meat (No D.L.) prepared.  So Ladies, if you cannot cook, this is not the day to attempt to get your Paula Dean on in the kitchen.  Your man does not want to eat a bloody steak, nor does he want to chew on rubber at the dinner table.  If you don’t possess the necessary talents in the kitchen, and you cook turkeys like Gina from Martin, please spare your man the pain.  Get your Visa, MasterCard, or Rush Card ready, and take that brother to the closest Outback.  You can get him a $9.99 special and make him happy, instead of pissing him off because you forced him to chew on some junk you threw up on the George Foreman you haven’t cleaned in 2 years!
2. Please understand: this is not the time or the instance for you to give the normal ole BJ service.  On this day, you want to hit him with the unexpected.  Don’t just get home and act like you are doing him a favor.  Appreciate the BJ and the enjoyment that he will experience.  When you are leaving the Outback, show him some attention in the car.  Or after he finishes eating the steak that you made, make him the dessert.  The key point, though, is to do something different and exciting.  If you got a man that is normally trash---you may actually get a good 1-2 weeks of drama free relations if you handle this thang the right way.
3. Please make sure that you eat a steak too.  The brother does not want you chomping and gnawing on his thing with your teeth because you didn’t get any grub.  Thank you and goodnight!
 K

13 comments:

Ms. K said...

LOL! You two are too funny! I'm going to play devil's advocate...if your significant other doesn't know this "holiday" exists...what obligation do you have to tell them about it???

K said...

It is your duty to make sure that you past this knowledge onto anyone you know. Send him a copy of this post. I promise you he wont ever forget about it!

LaNeshe said...

LOL!!!

Ms. K said...

My duty? Really? LOL!

K said...

absolutely...I bet if your man was from Africa and he never heard of Valentines day---you would find some way to tell him lol

A said...

Lol @Ms. K and K hahaha

For everyone reading Ms. K is not K's real girl!!!

ONEFABMAMA said...

Per K's request, I'm here to let all the ladies know that you don't EVER have to worry about your man going anywhere if you take care of your business in the kitchen and the bedroom. I think a lot of ladies are confused...when you go in the kitchen, you gotta make magic happen. Your man doesn't want dry chicken breasts and burnt rice. Don't go in there if you don't know what you're doing. And as far as the bedroom is concerned, what you won't do...some other freak will. It's ok to be a slut for your man!! If you need some help, take a class. **My sessions are pretty reasonable. :)

Krystal said...

Love the post sis! :)

Kevin J. said...

Let the Church say Amen....I almost forgot about Steak and BJ day.....

A said...

One Fab Mama --- Classes, please share!!!!!!!! Lol

Carrie said...

Thanks K&A! I had never heard of this day before neither did my bf! However, I surprised him with a great steak dinner and well, let's just say I took A's advice and researched Superhead. That girl's got talent!

A said...

@Carrie -- glad we could help!!! And yes Superhead has talent! Lol

Anonymous said...

Dang how did I miss this! My girl fucking up!

-DK

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