With Just One Click: Dating in a 2.0 World

We have all been there.  You sign onto the Facebook.com and see one picture that leads to a night of investigative research, culminating in a detailed report to your fellow stalker friends.  If you are a “Facebook stalker”, does this make you crazy? Or is it perfectly acceptable to be a virtual stalker, as long as you’re not a physical one?  We’ll start the conversation by giving our opinions on the matter. 

Facebook was the game changer!
He Says:

I want to shout out A---who has perfected the art of hidden stalking.  She is great at what she does. LOL.

Some ninjas (sorry if I offend anyone---again) have just gone too far with their Facebook stalking.  I honestly feel that some people use this site as their own personal database for performing background checks.  And there are a few things that irk the hell out of me about it. 

1.       When I put up a status on Facebook---please don’t think that is an invitation for you to text me about it.  Facebook created a “comment” button so that you can comment on the site.  My statuses are not reason for you to call me and initiate a conversation based on the information found therein.  Don’t use my status as an ice breaker.  If I wanted to have an offline conversation with you about it---I would have contacted you personally to begin with. 
2.      I have had many a ridiculous conversation with ladies about my statuses, photos, and blocking methods (hey, clearly it is deserved!).  GTFOH!  It’s just a social network.  Don’t verbally attack me because a jawn wrote on my wall and told me I’m sexy and she wants to have multiple children by me---even if it’s true. LOL.  Unfortunately I can’t control these things all the time.  My privacy settings are fairly immaculate, but sometimes things do slip through the cracks.       
3.      DO. NOT. EVER. stalk my wall, photos, etc and then come back to me talking about information that I have never shared with you personally.  I think it’s a little weird if you are only texting me about Britney Spears because you read my “25 things” list (y’all remember that?).  On one occasion, I actually had someone stalk my entire page, and then proceed to stalk the pages of several of my friends!  Then, this fool had the nerve to text me stating that AB had amazing makeup and she wanted AB to do hers.  I was frankly quite scared!  If you are going to stalk---at least be sure that you keep any information gathered to yourself; or else you run the risk of coming off as a complete nut job.  If you need some covert stalking tips---contact A for classes. LOL

P.S.  I want to thank God and Mark Zuckerberg for creating the best thing known to man: privacy settings!  Let all the ninjas say, “AMEN!” 

She Says:

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,
I hate you! No, really--I do! My idle time has made you a billionaire and my daily interactions with your little website, Facebook, continue to make you money.  Not only have you revolutionized social networking sites, but you have completely changed the way people communicate. In addition, you have added another element to relationship dynamics, that often times has catastrophic implications. For this, we thank you! *insert sarcasm*

I wonder how often Mark hears those sentiments from his users. Facebook has become a game changer in relationships.  It has given many people the opportunity to know what their boo, crush, or fav smanger is doing at all times. Ladies, have you ever called up one of your friends to have a dish session centered on the latest status or tagged picture that showed up in your news feed? You sit on the phone dissecting every aspect of it. You comb over the person’s page like you are a forensic analyst and his page is a crime scene. You find yourself clicking to see more about the chick who comments on every picture and likes every status. Then the next thing you know you are looking at all of her pictures, sharing them with your friends, and having the “I am cuter than her right?” conversation.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking at all of this information; it’s part of the person’s digital footprint and is fair game for exploration. If companies can use Facebook in the job hiring process, then why can't you use it in the dating process?  If people don’t want certain information shared then they should hide it, delete it, or…I don’t know--do something else with it besides post it on Facebook. LOL. I do, however, have a problem with those who are not discreet Facebook stalkers. You give the covert stalkers a bad name. Don’t ever get sloppy and talk about knowledge you acquire from Facebook research with your boo, crush, or fav smanger. If you do, it will make you look like a crazy fool.

I leave you all with this thought… Friends don’t let friends Facebook stalk recklessly, so go forth and stalk responsibly.



Brandi P said...

I got the BIGGEST laugh out of that picture! This post is hilarious b/c I def spent this morning doing that! #YeShrug Sometimes I have to pull out my Nancy Drew glasses and prob the pages of Facebook (-_-)

A said...

@Brandi - YES!! Sometime you have to get clever to make it work! But when you find the information you need you feel accomplished!!

K said...

Facebook stalking should not ever happen before going to work in the morning. That is a shame lol

Ashlee said...

Facebook stalking should happen whenever it is needed! People should not put information out there that they don't want other people to know. And what type of person would I be if I did not try to attain all information pertinent to any given circumstance? I think Facebook "stalking" is nothing more than a little due diligence :)

Ashley said...

I think Facebook "stalking" is needed...I have helped my girls "stalk" guys they are dating just to help them out. If you did not want me to know I should not have been able to find it

Anonymous said...

Good post. So glad I am not on Facebook and will NEVER be. Real pimps don't have time to participate in social networking. The ratio is 22:1, C'MON SON!!!!

Kim Jackson said...

LOL @ "real pimps don't have time to participate in social networking". Awesome.

Let me preface by saying that I don't FB stalk, but I would agree with the notion that people shouldn't put things on FB that they don't want others to find. Too many people either confuse FB with real life and give way too much detail.

Anonymous said...

Good Post! Anon above me is right! Real men don't need FB to get caught up, but I do need KG to teach a lesson about them there privacy settings! lol

Cmon bruh, share your tricks!

Anonymous said...

I'm totally against FB stalking only because I've never been in a situation where I liked someone more because of FB. Learning that waka flocka is your favorite rapper, you like to take shirtless pics in ur bathroom while chucking up ur deuces and you can't spell -all in one day- is too much. I wanna enjoy the ignorant bliss of liking someone simply because "he got a nice....smile ;-)" before learning his lame ass interests is that so wrong? *shrugs shoulders while eyeing that cutie that just walked by*


A said...

@Ashlee & Ashley -- Agreed! If its out there, I am looking. If you did not remove it then you feel ok with it being there! Thanks!

@Anon -- b/c I know how you are, "real pimps" *rolls eyes*

@Kim -- you sure you don't stalk?!

@Anon -- KG don't share! He selfish!

@Jazo -- YOU ARE A FOOL!!!!!

A said...

Also, can I point out that in the image, next to the PC dude has lotion and tissue! WHOA!!!! #DEAD!!!! hahahaha

K said...

Ummm I give classes on the ins and outs of Privacy settings...

Kim Jackson said...

LOL. Yes, A--I am sure. On the rare occasions that I find it necessary to get information that is otherwise unobtainable, I rely on YOUR sleuthing skills. haha.

Jazo--you are hilarious! That's so true though--sometimes too much info up front can ruin everything.

SMB said...

I'm not gonna lie...I used to be one of those psychotic FB stalkers. Blame it on my youngness, blame it on my naivety, blame it on the fact that at the time I was attending Howard U where the male to female ratio was about 1 to 4 (o yea...i was paranoid lol), but for whatever reason anything that was on your profile could and would be used against you. I took a lot of things personally back then so if I felt that I was close to someone and I found something to be the least bit off-putting, I would tell them about themselves. Yea...it was bad. It took getting a taste of my own medicine to see how absolutely ridiculous I was. (Sorry to anyone who was a victim lol) You live, you learn, and you grow. And grow I did. From time to time I will peruse a profile or two (mostly if its someone I just started dealing with or if I suspect that there may be some foul play), but now I'm way more covert and just use the info I find for my own personal knowledge.

As for this whole if its on fb then you need to leave the comment on fb, imma have to disagree. Just like any photo or post that I put on fb that is readily accessible to anyone who has access to my profile, so are my comments on other people's pages. Idk if yall noticed, but now if you leave a comment on someone else's wall it doesn't just get put in the news feeds of your mutual friends; it becomes a post on your own fb wall, giving all of your friends access to the ENTIRE convo, regardless of whether that person has a blocked profile page or not. (If anyone knows how I can change that setting, please share!) I don't always want my comments to be read by everyone. (especially not if it something reckless, or a very controversial opinion...in my [soon-to-be] profession I could lose a job over that!)

A said...

SMB sounds like a true professional FB stalker! uh oh, lol! I aint know about that comment ish! Thanks for sharing!

Rick said...

I think facebook stalking can be creepy. But who am I to not partake in it from time to time.

Steve said...

Yo...I FB stalk all the time. I need to know information if my girl still wanting her baby father! I need to see what she doing, she real loose, but hey I love her! what are you going to do ha!

I like this blog! KEEP IT UP A & K!

K said...

Yo Steve that's the funniest thing I've heard all day hahah

Carrie said...

What a great post! Can I say that I love the picture as well!

I think its in a woman's nature to want to know as much as possible. However, I do agree with Jazo knowing "everything" to early can be quite detrimental as well. I know I saw all this pictures that were tagged of an ex and did not know when they were taking but got mad that he was chilling with his ex-gf!

A -- I agree dig all you want but be ready to to accept anything you find while digging!

Steve said...

K -- I mean the girl loose, I know! That's how I feel in love with her. It has been a few times, that I have said "Girl, What the fuck is this shit over on the internet? Damn babygirl!" But like I said earlier, you can't help who you love! SHE MY BOTTOM BITCH!

A said...

@Carrie -- Thanks!

@Steve -- HOMIE!!! I AM DYING!!!!!!!!!! S/o to Kain for the bottom bitch reference.

Anonymous said...

Does it count as stalking if you have one of your friends friend someone so you can have access to their page? Huh, oh it does?! *slowly backs out of room*

DK said...

I wanted to say something, then I read Steve's comments and mine are irrelevant now! Steve you gotta keep that baby momma of yours in check, huh? Seems like you are Team Zuckerberg! ha!

What gets men caught up, and apparently women too according to Steve, is not anything that they are doing, its that other people are not playing their position. I sometimes feel that I have gotten caught up in FB drama because some side trick tags me in a picture she snapped while I was knocked out and tag it on FB and then bam my girl is bitching!

FB stalking would be null and void if people just played their part and stayed in their damn lane!


Anonymous said...

What a great post! My friend forwarded me an email from someone who sent it to her. Can we just say how scary it is when someone comes to you with some info they found on Facebook. It is quite creepy!

Andre said...

I am so glad my friend sent me this link...yall site is cool!

But yea yall females be wildin out on this facebook shit...like its not real, chill out!

I had to delete my page, it was like homie mentioned above, no real pimp uses facebook. However, A does provide a good point about being discreet.

At the homie Steve, dang son! What's your girl's name? lol

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