So You Just Realized You Are the Side Chick

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and you were hoping to spend the evening in the most romantic, blissful place with your man, boo, or whoever. Instead it was 10pm and you were sitting alone at home watching TV without a call, text, email, or smoke signal from your “love.”

She Says:
Let me preface this by saying that Valentine’s Day is not a fav holiday of mine, but I am not a bitter single girl about it either. If you care to know my personal thoughts on the day, then click here to read. Now let’s get to the matter at hand!

Awww, you poor dummy thing! You thought you were going to spend Valentine’s Day with your “man,” but instead you were sitting at home by yourself.  This is the biggest red flag ever!!! If you are not spending your special day with the man you love, like, or want to be with--it is because he is most likely spending it with someone else, or it’s quite possible that he just did not want to spend the day with you. He is probably doing all the things you wanted to do with the woman that he really loves. I don’t mean to be so blunt but some women just need to hear it. So when he calls you sometime late tonight (but let’s be real—he is more likely to text you) don’t fall for his words. Take heed to the lesson that you learned last night. You were sitting there alone and angry, with your face beat to death, titties sitting up high, fancy underwear on and smelling of your new Rhi Rhi perfume.  While that’s great and all, please remember: YOU WERE ALONE.  Let’s recapture that feeling you had at 11:07pm when you gave up hope of spending Valentine’s Day with your boo…DON’T RESPOND TO THE TEXT! On to the next one, well unless you are okay with being the side chick, then do you!


He Says:
I feel bad for the women who think they are a priority, when they are really just a “jawn”.  A lot of women, even though most will deny it, consider Valentine’s Day to be a more important holiday than Baby Jesus’ Birthday.  Even though this is a crazy way of thinking, it’s a consistent one on an annual basis for many women. Nevertheless, I believe there are two main ways for you to figure out whether or not you are number one in your man’s life.  He will express his plans for you as one of two personalities: I like to call them the “Day Before Lover” and the “Late Night Lover”. 

The “Day Before Lover” is quite smooth with his game. He tells you he has to work on Valentine ’s Day or that he makes dinner for his Mama every year on Valentine’s Day.  Regardless of the excuse, he will find a way to get out of spending time with you on the actual holiday.  You believe these lies because you don’t think that a man would spend any time with you on this day if you weren’t his number one;  oh contraire young lady---if you’ve bought his excuse, you have just been played.   If you live in the same state as your man, and he makes time for you on any day other than the actual day---quite frankly he is spending that day with his wife, girlfriend or boyfriend (don’t look confused like you didn’t know) and that person is his real number one.

The “Late Night Lover” is not trying to be smooth at all.  He is giving you every sign that you are a jump-off.  But you are so excited that you are getting some V-Day cuddy that you fail to take note of the fact that he is coming to your house at 11:30 at night.  C’MON Son!  I saw eight men in line last night at Walgreen’s buying up the last bit of nasty a$$ candy and singing teddy bears.  As with these others, your man has already taken his main woman out for a nice dinner at the Golden Corral, and now he is coming to get his fix from you---THE JAWN.  No man, unless he doesn’t get off work until 11:00 at night, is going to be satisfied with spending only the last half hour of Valentine’s Day with a woman he truly cares about. 

It is my hope that you are now clear on your relationship status: you are the jump-off (a.k.a. random jawn, the side piece, side chick, number two…you get the point).  You can now either accept your role proudly or move on; because your chances of being number one are slim to none. 



Ashlee said...

yo kenny is hilarious!!!!

K said...

Ash I appreciate. Lol Ive gotten some hate on this post so far...But im lovin it!

Robilyn said...

You are rather hilarious but on point as usual .

Robilyn said...

I love KG's take on the bottom b**ch theory

Rick said...


Anonymous said...

And all I will say is the #ValentinesDayStruggle continues....if u want further confirmation on this topic you can reference my entire timeline @Ali_6

steve said...

It's amazing that there are many women who will take crap, and disrespect from a playa as long as he's fine, tall, has money and just plain has it going on. She will take that shit and then complain to her girlfriends about how men are dogs. If a guy is not spending V-DAY with you for any reason, you are not the one. What you might be is a great piece of ass and that's it. Women need to look at themselves in the mirror and blame themselves for the poor ass decisions they make in selecting men to date, have babies with and sex-up. I have always said that if there are 100 single women in a room, all 100 women would be chasing after the same 20 men and those same 20 men will dog the hell out of each and every one of those women. They are the ones who will not be there on Valentines day. Why should they be there? You are not requiring them to be and you have let them get away with that shit from the very beginning.


A said...

@Anon -- I am now following you! I love the #ValentinesDayStruggle hastag!!

@Steve -- TABERNACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SMB said...

@Steve - And there it is!

I find it interesting that only females are presumed to fall into that sideline trap. I completely agree with how you can deduce whether you are only the opening act and not the headliner, but both females and males can get the same treatment. Granted, as females we do let our emotions and dreams of happily ever after get the best of us from time to time, but males can get played just as easily. We do hold the power of the p____ after-all. So if vday plans haven't been brought up by me prior to the actual day, its for 1 of 2 reasons: 1) I probably couldn't care less about what he was doing most likely because I already have plans with someone of a higher prior, or 2) since i don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to, for one reason or another I just don't want to know.

A said...

@SMB -- I believe that side chicks are always presumed to be females because of desperation. Men generally lack the level of desperation that women display when they have a high desire or need to be with a man! It goes back to what Steve said. It really is all about what you allow someone to do to you.

However, men can be the side piece too!!!

K said...

The difference is that most dudes won't ever complain about being the side jawn...why---because its still a conquest lol

A said...

@K -- Touche! lol

SMB said...

@K - aight i'll give you that one lol

Kim Jackson said...

Wow! Steve took it to church with that comment. LOL. Well, maybe after reading this frank yet hilarious post, one or two of those 100 women will get a clue. Great job A and K.

Anonymous said...

So many girl's fall for this shit! The sad thing is how many people read this post and then let dude smash on February 17th. Women will never learn, you can only let people do to you what you allow them!

WOMEN STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES and demand better!!!

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